apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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