You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
