I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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