If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I want to be your penis for a week.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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