i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
