Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize