I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
