Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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