is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
