hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
