Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
