Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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