girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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