My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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