I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
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