Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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