my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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