So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize