All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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