I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i've created a new STD.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
