please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
