I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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