summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
