This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I did not marry a roomba.
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