so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Randomize
