Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize