and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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