i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
