No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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