If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
