good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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