i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
