He kissed a someone with a penis
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
