Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
