I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
