the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Randomize
