Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
