when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
