I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize