so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
