I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
