Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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