she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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