Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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