lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
