I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
