She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize