I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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