yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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