I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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