Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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