have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
