Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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