I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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