You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
