Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
