Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
