I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize