I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
