I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
