And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
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