By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
