This is not my ceiling
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
