Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
