Small penises have feelings too.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
