I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also, beer. Big fan.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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