whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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