Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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