you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
