Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
