I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just high enough for therapy.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
