Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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