How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
