your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
