wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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