He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
handjob tips. give me some.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
