How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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