He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
did you just send me my own nude
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
