Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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