do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
